“Cameras” by Matt and Kim. Fuck Instagram. (Kidding, who cares).
“A four-year-old was left in tears after being banned from her annual school photograph because of her eye-catching coiffure. Her hairdresser father, responsible for the updo, said he was shocked by the decision and that he was aiming for a ‘simple but elegant style’.” :( This is the greatest/saddest/cutest photo. Also news. Also tiny blazers kill me.
I saw Spiritualized last night at The Wiltern. “Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating In Space” was my favorite. This version obviously isn’t from the show I saw, even though it looks exactly identical. The back up singers last night were equally as awesome as the ones here and one of them had some SICK tambourine work. As a former tambourine player, I was impressed and jealous. Seriously, her snake rattle was not to be believed. And I just read this great quote from Jason Pierce, the lead singer: “I still feel like I’m hustling, and like I have no great talent. I’m not a great singer. But as long as I can keep the hustle going, and nobody taps me on the shoulder and says, “You’re busted,” then I can keep doing it. “
“A to G” Blackalicious
How To Watch “Game Of Thrones”
Draw the curtains. Ideally, you’ll be watching on your flat screen in your dungeon, but for those of you who don’t have a dungeon, you can just go to the highest tower in your house, or the wing that is the farthest west. Either way, be in your hot tub.
Have before you three bottles of red wine, one silver chalice, one cut of mutton, one loaf of bread, one sharp knife.
Women: affix a long blonde wig to your head and/or a Quaithe mask. Men: Put on your King Joffrey mask. You should be completely nude, save for your Jon Snow chastity belt to prevent any Game of Thrones induced sexual frenzy, in case you’re watching with other people.
Commence watching. As you watch, make a list of reasons of why you and Tyrion Lannister would be friends:
You both like to drink
You both like jokes
You both like scheming
You both want to smite your enemies with a rain of liquid fire
Have before you three bottles of red wine, one silver chalice, one cut of mutton, one loaf of bread, one sharp knife.
Women: affix a long blonde wig to your head and/or a Quaithe mask. Men: Put on your King Joffrey mask. You should be completely nude, save for your Jon Snow chastity belt to prevent any Game of Thrones induced sexual frenzy, in case you’re watching with other people.
Commence watching. As you watch, make a list of reasons of why you and Tyrion Lannister would be friends:
You both like to drink
You both like jokes
You both like scheming
You both want to smite your enemies with a rain of liquid fire
But then make a list of why you might not be friends:
You don’t like sleeping with whores
Ask yourself if you were somehow cast on the show, would you be comfortable being naked? Laugh that you even had to ask that question. Of course you would. Duh. You’d be on Game of Fucking Thrones. Observe the three empty bottles of red wine before you. Wow, drinking from a silver chalice really makes it go down quicker.
Ask yourself if you were somehow cast on the show, would you be comfortable being naked? Laugh that you even had to ask that question. Of course you would. Duh. You’d be on Game of Fucking Thrones. Observe the three empty bottles of red wine before you. Wow, drinking from a silver chalice really makes it go down quicker.
Drunk dial George R. R. Martin. Yell, “Is this George R. R. R. R. R. Martin?” And then scream in a pirate voice, “George Arrrrrrrr Martin!”’ Then switch to a regular voice and yell, “WRITE YOUR GODDAMN BOOKS YOU HERO BASTARD. I HATE YOU I MEAN I LOVE YOU!”
Pass out. Wake up, and be grateful that you didn’t drown in the hot tub. Stumble to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Scream, because King Joffrey and/or Quaithe stands before you.
Punch the mirror. Go the hospital. Repeat every Sunday.
In the hubbub of every day life, it can be easy to forget this.
Saturday sooooooooong! “Take the Skinheads Bowling” by Camper van Beethoven (pronounced the Bill and Ted way).
“So Lucky” by Dana Buoy. Love song. Cute. “Call to Be” is another good one.
